Green Tea Bliss

Sat, 03 Dec 2005 17:12:33 GMT

Last night I went to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Stupid Harry Potter being so cool, stupid Harry Potter movie making me want to see the other movies and read the books. GRRRR...

Stupid Hippo

Fri, 02 Dec 2005 15:39:19 GMT

I'm just having problems writting this story right now, I've been working on it over the last two days and only have a word cound of 285. I know were I want to go with it (kinda) but I'm having a big problem with story flow. It can be a bitch but when this story is finished I will be well worth it. I can't wait.

Fri, 02 Dec 2005 04:02:42 GMT

Anime list behind here...

--
I. Action and Adventure
( ) .hack//SIGN
( ) Airmaster
( ) Battle Arena Toshinden
( ) Bleach
( ) Blood+
( ) Burst Angel
( ) City Hunter
(x) Cowboy Bebop
(x) Dragonball (any)
( ) Flame of Recca
( ) GetBackers
( ) Inu Yasha
( ) Lupin III (any)
( ) Mai-HiME
( ) Naruto
( ) One Piece
( ) Tenjou Tenge
(x) TRIGUN
( ) Saiyuki
( ) Yu Yu Hakusho

Total Here: 3/20

II. Comedy and Parody
( ) 2x2 = Shinobuden
( ) Adventures of the Mini Goddesses
( ) All Purpose Cultural Catgirl Nuku Nuku
( ) Azumanga Daioh
( ) Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan
( ) Di Gi Charat
( ) Dragon Half
( ) Excel Saga
( ) Fruits Basket
( ) Galaxy Angel
( ) Here is Greenwood
( ) Kodomo no Omocha
( ) Kyou Kara Maou!
( ) Midori Days
( ) Pani Poni Dash
( ) Project A-ko
(x) Ranma 1/2
(x) Tenchi Muyo
(x) Those Who Hunt Elves
( ) Urusei Yatsura

Total Here: 4/20

III. Drama and Miscellaneous
( ) Beck
( ) Full Moon wo Sagashite
( ) Gankutsuou
( ) Genshiken
( ) Glass Mask (original or new)
( ) Haibane Renmei
( ) Hitsuji no Uta
( ) Honey & Clover
( ) Kaleido Star
( ) Last Exile
( ) Le Portraite de Petite Cossette
( ) Monster
( ) Paradise Kiss
(x) Princess Mononoke
(x) Read or Die OVA
( ) Speed Grapher
( ) Twin Spica
( ) Weiss Kreuz
( ) Wings of Honneamise
( ) Yakitate!! Japan

Total Here 2/20

IV. Ecchi/Mature
( ) Agent AIKa
( ) Cutey Honey
( ) Ebichu
( ) Golden Boy
( ) Grenadier
( ) Hand Maid May
( ) He Is My Master
( ) Iketeru Futari
(x) La Blue Girl
( ) Lingerie Senshi Papillon Rose
( ) Mahoromatic
( ) Mezzo Forte
( ) Miyuki-chan in Wonderland
( ) My Dear Marie
( ) Najica Blitz Tactics
( ) Negima
( ) Puni Puni Poemy
( ) Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend
( ) Wicked City
( ) Yumeria

Total Here: 1/20

V. Fantasy and Supernatural
( ) Angel Sanctuary
( ) Aquarian Age
(x) Berserk
( ) El Hazard
( ) Final Fantasy Unlimited
( ) Fullmetal Alchemist
( ) Howl's Moving Castle
( ) Magic Knight Rayearth
( ) Mushishi
( ) Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
(x) Record of Loddoss War
( ) Scrapped Princess
(x) Slayers
( ) Tales of Eternia
( ) Trinity Blood
( ) Tsubasa Chronicle
(x) Vampire Hunter D
( ) Violinist of Hameln
(x) Vision of Escaflowne
( ) X: TV

Total Here: 4/20

VI. Historical and Alternate History
( ) Anne of Green Gables
( ) Basilisk
( ) Barefoot Gen
( ) Chrono Crusade
( ) Grave of the Fireflies
( ) Fire Tripper
( ) Kaidomaru
( ) Legend of Condor Hero
( ) Millennium Actress
( ) Nadia - Secret of Blue Water
( ) Ninja Scroll
( ) Otogizoushi
( ) Peacemaker Kurogane
( ) Porco Rosso
( ) Rose of Versailles
( ) Rurouni Kenshin
( ) Samurai 7
( ) Samurai Champloo
( ) Steel Angel Kurumi
( ) Victorian Romance Emma

Total Here: 0/20

VII. Kids and Family
( ) Angelic Layer
(x) Astro Boy
(x) Beyblade
( ) Castle in the Sky
( ) Detective Conan
(x) Digimon
( ) Doraemon
( ) Hamtaro (isn't that the same as Ebichu?)
( ) Kiki's Delivery Service
( ) Kimba the White Lion
(x) Monster Rancher
( ) My Neighbour Totoro
(x) Pokemon
(x) Samurai Pizza Cats
( ) Sazae-san
(x) SD Gundam Force
( ) Sonic X
(x) Speed Racer
(x) Spirited Away
(x) Yu-Gi-Oh

Total Here: 10/20

VIII. Magical Girls and Boys
(x) Cardcaptor Sakura
( ) DNAngel
( ) Earth Girl Arjuna
( ) Erementar Gerad
( ) Hime-chan no Ribbon
( ) Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne
( ) Magic Users Club
( ) Magical Girl Pretty Sammy
( ) Magical Stage Fancy La La
( ) Mahou no Star Magical Emi
( ) Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha
( ) Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok
( ) Ojamajou DoReMi
( ) Oku-sama wa Mahou Shoujo
( ) Pretear
(x) Sailor Moon
( ) Saint Tail
( ) Tokyo Mew Mew
( ) Ultra Maniac
(x) Wedding Peach

Total Here: 3/20

IX. Romance
(x) Ah! My Goddess
( ) Ai Yori Aoshi
( ) Air
( ) Ayashi no Ceres
( ) Boys Be
(x) Chobits
( ) Fushigi Yuugi
( ) Hana Yori Dango
( ) His and Her Circumstances (a.k.a.: KareKano)
( ) Kimagure Orange Road
( ) Kimi ga Nozomu Eien
( ) Love Hina
( ) Maison Ikkoku
( ) Marmalade Boy
( ) Peach Girl
( ) Piano
( ) Please Teacher!
( ) SaiKano
( ) To Heart
( ) Video Girl Ai

Total Here: 2/20

X. Science-Fiction
( ) Appleseed
(x) Blue Seed
(x) Bubblegum Crisis (any) OLD school is the best ever not the newer crap!
( ) Crest of the Stars
(x) Galaxy Express 999
(x) Gundam (any)
(x) Macross (any)
(x) Outlaw Star
( ) Patlabor
( ) Planetes
( ) Please Save My Earth
( ) RahXephon
( ) Saber Marionette (any) J is the best one rest are crap
( ) s-CRY-ed
( ) Soukyuu no Fafner
( ) Space Battleship Yamamoto (a.k.a.: Star Blazers)
( ) Stellvia
(x) Transformers (any)
( ) Voices of a Distant Star
( ) Xenosaga: The Animation

Total Here: 7/20

XI. Shounen-Ai and Shoujo-Ai
( ) Ai no Kusabi
( ) Descendants of Darkness
( ) Earthian
( ) FAKE
( ) Fish in the Trap
( ) Galaxy Fraulin Yuna
( ) Gravitation
( ) Haru wo Daiteita
( ) Kannazuki no Miko
( ) Kizuna
( ) Lesson XX
( ) Loveless
( ) Maria-sama ga Miteru
( ) Mirage of Blaze
( ) Oniisama E
( ) Seikimatsu Darling
( ) Song of the Wind in the Trees
( ) Sukisho
( ) Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito
( ) Zetsuai/Bronze

Total Here: 0/20

XII. Sports
( ) Ace wo Nerae
( ) Ashita no Joe
( ) Ayane's High Kick
( ) Baki the Grappler
( ) Battle Athletes
( ) Buzzer Beater
( ) Captain Tsubasa
( ) Eyeshield 21
( ) Ginban Kaleidoscope
( ) Hajime no Ippo
( ) Hikaru no Go
( ) Initial D
( ) Major
( ) Monkey Turn
( ) One Pound Gospel
( ) Prince of Tennis
( ) Princess Nine
( ) Slam Dunk
( ) Suzuka
( ) Wild Striker

Total Here: 0/20

XIII. Surreal and Psychological
(x) Akira
( ) Betterman
( ) Boogiepop Phantom
( ) Elfen Lied
( ) FLCL
( ) Gantz
(x) Ghost in the Shell (movie or TV)
(x) Hellsing
( ) Jigoku Shoujo
( ) Karas
( ) Madlax
( ) Melody of Oblivion
(x) Neon Genesis Evangelion
( ) Noir
( ) Paranoia Agent
( ) Perfect Blue
( ) Princess Tutu
( ) Revolutionary Girl Utena
( ) Serial Experiments Lain
( ) Texnolyze

Total Here: 3/20

Total: 38/260 but I seen a lot of titles that I want to see...someday. I really have a pitiful count, don't I?

Effexor

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 18:11:19 GMT

Last night I went to the doctors, first of all the doctor was great and second of all she prescribed me on these pills called Effexor. I took my first one this morning and to be honest I feel a little spaced out but that's what it like whenever you take mood effecting pills for the first time. I know it's working because I can feel it behind my eyes. That sounds very weird but it's truthful. Whenever I'm down or anxious my eyes feel funny. They are making me feel a little tired or maybe it's relaxation. I'm not sure but I feel good.

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 04:39:22 GMT

X off the movie's you've seen. More than 70 and you're a maniac.

(x)Pirates of the Caribbean
(x)The Mexican
(x)Fight Club
( )Starsky and Hutch
(x)Neverending Story
( )Blazing Saddles
( )Garden State
( )The Princess Bride
( )Young Frankenstien
( )Anchor Man
(x)Napoleon Dynamite
(x)Saw
(x)White noise
( )White Oleander
( )Anger Management

total here : 7

(x)50 First Dates
(x)Jason vs Freddy
(x)Scream
(x)Scream 2
(x)Scream 3
(x)Scary Movie
(X)Scary Movie 2
( )Scary Movie 3
(x)American Pie
(x)American Pie 2
( )American Wedding
( )Harry Potter and the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone
( )Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
( )Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
(x)Resident Evil I
(x)Resident Evil 2
(x)The Wedding Singer
(x)Little Black Book

total here : 13

( )The Village
(x)Donnie Darko
( )Lilo & Stitch
(x)Finding Nemo
( )Finding Neverland
(x)13 Ghosts
(x)Signs
( )The Grinch
(x)Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( )White Chicks
(x)Butterfly Effect
( )Thirteen going on 30
(x)I,Robot
( )Dodgeball
(x)Universal Soldier
( )A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x)Along Came A Spider
(x)Deep impact

total here : 10

(x) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumb & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
(x) Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
(x) The Whole Ten Yards
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
(x) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
(x) Joy Ride
(x) Seven
(x) Oceans Eleven
( ) Oceans Twelve
( ) Idenity

total here : 30

( ) Lone Star
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
(x) Independence day
(x) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My boss' daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
( ) Frailty
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
(x) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks

total here : 12

(x) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) X-men 1
(x) X-Men 2
( ) Catch me if you can
(x) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
(x) Old School
( ) Ray
(x) The Notebook
(x) K-pax

total here : 11

(x) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x) A walk to remember
(x) Boogeyman
( ) Hitch
(x) The Fifth Element
(x) Star Wars episode I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars episode II Attack of The Clones
(x) Star Wars episode III Revenge of The Sith
(x) Star Wars episode IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars episode VI Return of The Jedi...
( ) Troop Beverly Hills
( ) Swimming with Sharks
(x) Air Force One
( ) For Richer or Poorer
(x) People under the stairs
( ) Blue Velvet
( ) Sound of music
( ) Parent Trap
(x) The Burbs
(x) The Terminator
(x) Empire Records
( ) Meet Joe Black
(x) A Clockwork Orange
(x) The Order
(x) Spiderman
(x) Spiderman 2
(x) Amelie

total here : 22

(x) Mean Girls
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
(x) The Incredibles
(x) Collateral
(x) The Fast & The Furious
( ) 2 Fast 2 Furious
(x) Sky Captain Of The World Of Tomorrow
( ) Closer

total here : 7

(x) Titanic
(x) Saved
(x) Bowling For Columbine
(x) Farenheit 9/11
(x) The Sixth Sense
(x) Artificial intelligence (AI)
( ) Love actually
( ) Shutter
( ) Ella Enchanted
(x) Princess diaries 1
( ) Princess diaries 2
(x) Constantine
( ) Million Dollar Baby
( ) Envy
( ) Eurotrip
( ) Malibu's Most wanted
(x) Big Daddy
(x) Black Sheep
( ) The Breakfast Club
( ) West side story

total here : 10

(x) A Christmas Story
( ) spanglish
(x) Pulp Fiction
( ) sleepover
(x) The Evil Dead
(x) Killer Klowns From Outer Space
( ) The Seed of chucky
(x) Vanilla Sky
(x) Nightmare Before Christmas
(x) Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind-
(x) Interview With The Vampire
(x) The Crow
( ) Purple Rain
(x) Wayne's World

total here : 10

(x) Wayne's World 2
( ) 21 Grams
( ) Blow
(x) Edward Scissorhands
(x) Clerks
(x) Beauty and the Beast
(x) Guess who
( ) monster in-law
( ) elf
( ) stuart little
( ) stuart little 2
(x) Chasing Amy
(x) Dogma
(x) Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

total here : 8

(x) Beetlejuice
(x) The Last Samurai
(x) The Amityville Horror
( ) The Aviator
(x) Romeo and Juliet
( ) Barbershop
( ) Barbershop 2
( ) Beauty Shop
( ) legally blonde
( ) legally blonde 2
(x) the forgotten
( ) confessions of a teenage drama queen
(x) the grudge

total here : 6

My total total (what the hell?...total total?) is: 146 movies

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 21:18:01 GMT

My great mood drizzled away when the afternoon finally came. I am sad, agian. This can't keep happening. In fifteen minutes I go to the clinic, maybe the doctor can help.

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 03:59:10 GMT

Well, I have a bit of a story to tell.

Back in the day when I was working at inbound/outbound call centers I ended up having a minor nervous breakdown. In the long run I was off of work for one year under doctor's orders. The other night I began to feel symptoms creeping up on me agian and I know it's directly because of TeleTech.

TeleTech has a great working environment with people who really care but unfortunatly for me I can't handle the stress. This afternoon I went into work and told them that I needed to have my hours cut back to part-time so I could continue working for them.

I'm taking tomorrow off to look for a new job. Everyone cross your fingers for me!

In other news Mandi assisted me with making a school desidsion. I'm either going to Algonquin, Humber or Fanshaw for photography in September. I'll keep you updated on that.

Quick little ditty...

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 17:49:36 GMT

Started to do a little more writing today. Looking online later tonight for writing classes. Have to go to work in about six minutes, looking forward to it because I am finally out of training. Haven't been roleplaying for the last two weeks, kinda down because of that but I have a lot more time to think of other things.

Earlier today I was sitting down writing out a "35 day personal challange" then it dawned on me, if I can kick a nasty drug habit why can't I kick all my bad habits and get life to were I want it. It's easy to do but I just have to want to do it and finally I am.

So I asked Mandi today were she would like to move when her program is up. It may not be Halifax but the choice is up to her.

Times Up, go to work Brian.

A little bit of news...

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 19:11:40 GMT

As you probably already know last night I asked Mandi to marry me. She said yes which is a good thing...that's all the updating I have.

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 19:05:27 GMT

I'm so depressed right now, I just want to crawl into bed and never come out.

Why must it be so hard for me to make a carrer decidion? Everyone else I know has made this choice...but I just don't know what I want to do! I'm such a fucktard...why must I be so fucking stupid...why can't I make just stick with something. I looked to God for help, prayed my heart out and alas nothing. All I fucking asked for was just one little sign, one little push into the right direction but nothing...that's all I am...just one big fucking nothing. Somedays I would be better off dead. This is what I get for having faith but I can't turn my back on it because I've had too many fucking experiences with the "higher power" to deny it's existance. Ignorance is bliss. What we don't know won't hurt us but in my case it is because the rules don't fucking apply to my life. I don't know what kind of carrer I want and I'm twenty fucking two. This is bullshit. Why wasn't someone there for me when I was throwing my life away? Why was it that I was the only one helping others but when I needed the help it wasn't avaliable because everyone else was having a grand ol' time without me.

Today I watched a short film called "Cycle". In one scene a man slits his wrists in the bathtub. I didn't see him though, I saw myself. This is the first suicidal thought I've had since I've moved from Chatham. The only thing that keeps me from doing it is Mandi. She is everything to me and I wouldn't be able to survive one single day without her. Kinda harsh knowing that I depend on someone so much to keep me from harming myself.

All I need is direction, that's all I ever needed but NOBODY CARED. Why? Why do I have so many emotions running through me? Why is life like this? Why do I love someone else when I can't even love myself? Why do I eat when I'm piss at my body? Why do I let others step on me to get to the top? Why? Why? Why? WHY?!

Can somebody help me. I'm begging somebody to help, anybody. Tony Robbins couldn't get my life on track, I can't get it on track but I'm ready for help. I'm ready...don't leave me out in the cold...I don't want to hate myself anymore. Help.

Dear Dain,

Mon, 21 Nov 2005 04:40:49 GMT

I seen your profile on bangme.net and read it. I found out you are so much like me...I'm not trying to sound mean but now when I look at myself in the mirror I will never be able to take myself seriously. *sigh*...I feel more emo then ever. Where is my black sweater, where are my bloody wrists and when oh when can I flip my hair.

The cool shit you find on the net...

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 19:17:50 GMT

Check it out!

http://www.compfused.com/directlink/983/

P.S. If flexible people freak you out then I wouldn't watch it.

It's short...

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 20:23:02 GMT

Have you ever decided something with the flip of a coin?

I have a great story to tell (at least in my eyes) and I wasn't sure if it should be a screenplay or a stage play. I flipped a coin...stage play it is. Yet again the cosmic forces are guiding me.

P.S. I need a new icon...something that symbolizes me.

Second update for the day!

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 19:37:23 GMT

I started to work on a stageplay today but I just couldn't get anything out on paper so I said "Fuck it!" and started to type out a screenplay. All I have is a title but things are running very smooth. It seems to be writing itself. I hope to have the first 1000 words done before work.

P.S. The title is called Euthanasia, it's a love story...kinda.

I love these stupid little tests

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 13:29:14 GMT

Jimmy Stewart
You scored 21% Tough, 14% Roguish, 42% Friendly, and 23% Charming!

You are the fun and friendly boy next door, the classic nice guy who still manages to get the girl most of the time. You're every nice girl's dreamboat, open and kind, nutty and charming, even a little mischievous at times, but always a real stand up guy. You're dependable and forthright, and women are drawn to your reliability, even as they're dazzled by your sense of adventure and fun. You try to be tough when you need to be, and will gladly stand up for any damsel in distress, but you'd rather catch a girl with a little bit of flair. Your leading ladies include Jean Arthur and Donna Reed, those sweet girl-next-door types.

Find out what kind of classic dame you'd make by taking the Classic Dames Test.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 34% on Tough

You scored higher than 45% on Roguish

You scored higher than 70% on Friendly

You scored higher than 38% on Charming

Link: The Classic Leading Man Test written by gidgetgoes on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 15:20:05 GMT

I just needed to place this somewhere because it was an important letter that I wrote.

Hey,

I just read your email and I not forgetting you. You are my bestfriend and will always be. Sometimes I wish I hadn't moved away from you guys but life is good right now. Leaving Chatham was one of the best things I've done for myself but not one day goes by that I don't think about you guys. I miss you guys a lot. Sometimes I sit here and wonder what it could have been like if I stayed. You guys are my family and I left you. It was a very hard decidsion for sure but I don't think I'll ever come back to Chatham. That city just brought me down in all the important aspects of my life.

I have a hard time going to Tim Horton's with other people now because it's just not the same. You and Brandi cannot be replaced ever. You two are my family and I wish you could be here with me or me there with you. You, Brandi and Mandi are the only people in my life that I have ever had such a bond with and besides my future children will ever have.

I will never forget you guys at all, EVER! Someday I really hope that we can all live in the same city again. So we can hang out, go out on those long car rides into nowhere, discuss roleplaying and the problems we are having. Just basically be there for each other. This is hard for me to write without getting all emotional. That's one thing that Mandi brought out in me, my emotions.

As you have heard Mandi and I are planning on moving in September. We are shooting for Halifax because the east coast is somewhere we have always wanted to be. I think after this move we will be settling down in one city. The thing is that we are not 100% positve that we will be going out there because I'm going to be applying to colleges soon and wherever I get accepted is where we will be. I don't know what you and Brandi have in mind but if nothing is holding you back you should move. It's wishful thinking I know but that's all I can do right now. In a perfect world I would have Mandi, Steve and Brandi around me but things aren't always perfect.

I'm glad that you guys are still roleplaying. I found one guys so far and we had our first one on one session last Monday. That is my new roleplaying night. I'm running a Rifts game right now. Last week I picked up the Ulitimate Edition. It's packed full of stuff and I'm having a blast with it. Hopefully next payday I will be able to pick up a couple of other books after Christmas shopping.

I have to get going now. I'm going to try to get some more sleep before work.

You hetrosexual lifepartner,
Brian

I loathe you, asshole

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 14:03:52 GMT

I'm not going to pull any punches on this one period and I really don't care who ends up reading this because my feeling are rather obvious.

One of my roommates has a boyfriend named James and in my eyes this "boy" isn't worth the flesh that his printed on. I am going to place all of the experiences outside of "hey how's it going?" that I've had with him.

First of all way back in the day five of us were suppose to be in our lease for the apartment. We all signed contracts stating that we would pay so much ever month for rent each month, a portion of the utilities, etc. Over the course of the summer his girlfriend (one roommate) and himself had a falling out. From what I heard he was the antagonist for that one. He told her one morning "I don't want to be with you anymore because I'm moving out west after my year is done at school and all you will do is hold me back. I'm can't live with you anymore so I'm going to find my own apartment, by the way I won't be able to pay into the lease agreements because I need that money to live on my own." So after talking it over with Mandi, Megan and I we decided that it would be alright if he left the agreement as long as he wasn't going to be here. That was strike one against him. If you have an agreement with someone and just you have a falling out with that person you still need to hold up to your part of the bargain because that is your word. In the end your word is all you have. He proved to be unreliable.

The second experience that I've had with him was when we first moved in. I found it strange that he was here ALL THE TIME. I don't mean just once and a while but all the FUCKING TIME. It was like he was living here and he told us all that he wouldn't be. He would make messes and expect everyone else to clean up. Even after we told him that he was suppose to be a guest and not a roommate it still continues. This is when I lost all respect for him.

Experience number three. Around Halloween all my roommates went out with their boyfriends to a bar called "The Wall". I wasn't there but I was home when everyone came back. I found out that he was doing a little more then flirting with other girls in front of his girlfriend. This doesn't float well with me at all because if you tell someone you love them, trying to get into the pants of another person is something you don't do. Love is such a powerful thing, it's sacred, it's the one thing that makes the world a better place and how dare he taint most treasured emotion. Love is something that you just don't toss around. You can love a friend, you can love a dog but you can either like your partner or Love them. Nothing is in between. The only way that Love can exist between more then one person is in a family like environment or if both partners agree to a polyamorous relationship. My dislike for James started here.

Just a couple of days after this he made up with his girlfriend and everything was good between them. I like Krystal (spelling mistake, I know) because at heart she is a good person. She always tries to do the right thing and I admire that. She trusted him once more and then we starting hearing that he was "visiting" his ex-girlfriend. Now it's none of my business and I'm not sure were it went but LYING to your partner is just plain wrong. Cheating is even worse. If you don't want to be with that person then just break up with them. Sure some people might be saying "but I don't want to leave because I love that person. Something is just missing". If something is missing then fix it! If you think that it's hopeless then leave. Sure emotions will get hurt, people will cry but just please. Don't prolong the inevitable. Cheating is not good in my books at all. This is when his word, his being, the little chance for redemption disappeared. This "boy" is not to be trusted because he rides on the gullibility of others.

The least someone could do if they are living but not living at your house is have a little consideration for those that pay rent. No, I couldn't even have that. I get home from work between 12:30 to 1:00 in the morning everynight. I don't have to be to work until 4:30 in the afternoon so I would like to get a little sleep. It doesn't happen. I feel asleep at about 2 this morning and was woken up by the alarm at 7:15 because Mandi had to go to school. That's fine because she is quite and was letting me fall back to sleep. Well, just as I was about to drift back off into dreamland (which for anyone who knows me is quite a feat in itself) the television starts to play. Not at a low level either but very loudly. If it wasn't for the wall between my head and the television speaker I would be touching it. That broke the last straw. I yelled "Fuck, he has to get a God damn life". I'm sure most of the house heard me. I know he did because when he came to the door and tried to play the "I'm sorry, insert random excuse here" card. I snapped and said "It's fucking alright". He took off rather quick because I never get that mad with anyone.

The only positive thing I can think ever happened between us was when he offered me a beer. Yep, that's it. I've been offered drinks by total strangers so that means nothing.

This rant is almost over. To finish up I would like to say a few things:

Mandi, I love you so much and you are the greatest girlfriend.

Megan(spelling mistake once again), thank you for being quite and understanding. Even though I don't know you that well I will always be here to help you.

Jeff, you are a great guy and I don't care if you are at our house because you are part of our community. One of our "family". Thanks for being just who you are.

Krystal, you are a good person at heart and it shines through. You are caring, kind and a friendly individual. If you ever need anything just let me know. I won't be angry with you. I just hope that you see that James is playing you for a fool. If he is going to leave at the end of the year and you are looking for something long term get rid of him. You may Love him but I doubt that the feeling is mutual. It maybe hard but you can do so much better...that's for sure. I'm positive that things will work out for you in life because you are too sweet to have things go wrong.

James, you are not my roommate, you are not part of my "family", you are the only person that I have ever felt this strongly against because you act like a man but you have so much to learn about being one. I'm hope that someday you find out who you are but I'm just going to try to give you some advise. Everything you do, every lie you tell, every promise you break it will come back to haunt you. I'm not speaking out of my ass but from experience. I hate myself for hating you because I want to be the change that I want to happen in the world. I want universal love but if I hold on to my hate for you I'm being a hypocrite. I want to include you into my "family" but I have to respect you first. You may not care at all about what I think and that's fine. I just hope someday I can come to grips with my feelings for you and understand who you are. I would give you the shirt off my back if you need it because that is the type of person I am but if I find out you are playing me for a fool I won't take back my shirt but also your flesh. I will show you what suffering really is.

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 16:57:44 GMT

Had my first night of "real" work last night. I was so nervous at first but after I got on the phones I wondered why. Most of the calls that came in were from people who didn't understand what was going on. I think I'm going to enjoy working at TeleTech.

This morning I guess we had our first snow fall. When I finally got out of bed I didn't see anything outside but it gives me a reason to wear my old man coat today...if it's that cold out.

I have to jump into the shower soon and go down to the Capitol Center. I called there yesterday about voluteering and they want me to fill out some paperwork. Here's to a good day! Cheers!

Not one moment wasted...

Wed, 09 Nov 2005 17:22:16 GMT

Today is finally the day. I have to start taking phone calls at work no matter what. I was ready to do it yesterday but my supervisor came up everyone in the group and told us NOT TO TAKE PHONE CALLS! I was more then a little upset but it's all good.

Yesterday was a rather slow day for me because I don't feel like I got anything accomplished. I sat on the internet until I had to go to work which is a bad habit for me. Today will be better because I'm starting to follow the "rules" that I set out for myself.

Example, this morning when I woke up the first thing I did was 45 minutes of yoga. The full exercise that I did was only 20 minutes long but I remembered if I want to go anywhere with my life I had to do at least another 20 minutes. When I had to go to work for 9:00am I would complain about how I didn't have enough time to do yoga in the morning. Well, now I have to do it because I don't start work until 4:30pm.

Sorry but I'm just tired of writing...this is really going nowhere.

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 16:02:24 GMT

My life if you were to catagorize it.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.7
Mind:	6.3
Body:	6.3
Spirit:	5.5
Friends/Family:	4.4
Love:	6.9
Finance:	6.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Potassium taste like bananas...

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 18:17:17 GMT

It's been an eventful 24 hours for me to say the least. I'll start this story off with yesterday when I was suppose to meet Toby (this guy I'm starting to roleplay with) at his church so we could hang out after. It was miserable outside yesterday, constant rain and clouds blocking out the sun.

Anyways, when I was standing under at the back of the church trying to avoid getting rained on two guys came up and started talking to me. This was our conversation...

Guy#1: Hey
Guy#2: Hey
Me: Ummm...hi
Guy#1: Are you hungry?
Me: Food is good
Guy#2: Come into the church. We are havin a potluck lunch.

I followed them in and learned one lesson. Church people are super-friendly. During the whole lunch I must have shook hands with twenty different people and had a seven year old tell me in french (which I have no idea how to speak) how she lost her tooth over one year ago.

After lunch Toby and I had to go to Canadian Tire because his car got a flat. I met his brother in law and he is going to go to school for microbiology because he wants to prove the Creation Theroy using science so scientist would not be able to deny the exsistance of God. I told him that it was very unique because I've never heard of a scientists trying to do that before. Most of the time they are for the theroy of Evolution. His mom got really offended at that but I really don't care much.

After hanging out with Toby I came home, Mandi and I went out to this diner near our house. They didn't have much to eat (at least at a vegatarians point of veiw) but their fries were to die for. We came home and I researched into some school because when Mandi and I move I'm going to school. Sure I'll be graduating at an "older" age but yet again I don't care.

I got to watch Family Guy and American Dad last night. They were very funny but the best thing that happend was when the power went out. Everyone started to scream and freak out but eventually we lit some candles making everything alright. We shared stories about the past and it got me thinking. I spent a lot of time during my life just wasting the moments were I could be doing something productive. Most of the time I watch television or spend time on the computer just like I'm doing now but I think having some type of journal is great for the mind. It helps see the whole picture that is life. Back to the story. So when I was falling asleep with Mandi in my arms I made a promise to myself. Every moment should be lived to it's fullest and not be wasted away.

To conclude when I woke up this morning the first thing I did was yoga that lasted for 45 minuites (twice as long as usually) and instead of going back to bed I worked on my play. Just jotted down some notes and ideas but everything is coming together. I have a list of things to do today and plan on getting everything done.

Just thought this was cool...

Sun, 06 Nov 2005 22:10:06 GMT

I Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Sat, 05 Nov 2005 14:11:01 GMT

I'm suppose to be doing yoga right now but I'm just not feeling like it. I have a lot to do today though. Walking downtown after Mandi goes to work to pick up a couple things of my own and calling up Toby (new RPG buddy) to see if he wants to do a coffee. I also have to stop by the Capitol Theater to see if they are looking for any volunteers so I can get a first hand look at what thespians do. It been a long, long time since I've done anything with the theater and I'm getting goose bumps just thinking about it. Well, that's my story for the day!

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 23:16:46 GMT

Today was a good one at work. We are almost done our in-class training and about to start our on-floor training. I found all these crazy shortcuts in one program we use at work and wrote a list of them out. It will make life much easier. A lot of people have quit and I think more are going to go after we get on the floor. That's about all I have to say right now. I'm going to get down to working on my play tonight, eat something good and do dishes. I miss my Mandi.

For those of you who care...

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 00:51:52 GMT

Here is a link to my story http://www.writingjuice.com , you will find my story under the fantasy section. Hope you enjoy!